do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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