i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Randomize
