She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
