Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
