Can Purell be used as lube?
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Randomize
