so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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