she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
