I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
How does it feel to date your dad?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
