I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
