turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
