I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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