My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
