i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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