Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
3 2 1 whiskey
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
