didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
