He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
