good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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