Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
