I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
