So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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