I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
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