Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.

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(605): View more from South Dakota

Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?

(1-605): View more from South Dakota

No. It just means your good at giving head.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays

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(308): View more from Nebraska

this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous

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(250): View more from British Columbia

How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??

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(574): View more from Indiana

If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.

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(969): View more from

I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.

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(905): View more from Ontario

how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?

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(609): View more from New Jersey

God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.

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