In America we eat man semen.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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