I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize