The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Pants are for mortals
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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