she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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