I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
