I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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