hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
