He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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