Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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