dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
