I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
