well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
