we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
