What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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