We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I need a burrito and a hug.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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