Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
