i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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