that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
