ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
