Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
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Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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