Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
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