watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
and she was petting her beer can
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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