I swear she didn't look like that last week.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
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