living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize