I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
