Is it normal to miss your booty call?
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
