Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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