Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
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Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
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This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
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