After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize