People in love make me want to vomit
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
