but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
