have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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