So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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