I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
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