...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
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