It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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