I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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