im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
