i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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