p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
